MASH
by Hoprabbit
Summary: ...He was, however, incredibly involved in a faint broadcast of 'The Crimson Pirate' on his radio. I had to laugh; only Kurt would stay up until two in the morning to listen to a pirate story on the radio.


"Holy crap, Rogue. Did you just write what I think you did?" She'd scribbled in a quick name under 'husband' and I blushed hard.  
>"<em>Oh yeah<em>, hun. What, don' see it?" I could see Jean smile behind Rogue as she glanced over Rogue's shoulder to the paper.  
>"What? Um... Well... you know, I just, like, don't know. I don't know if I like him." Rogue rolled her eyes at me and smiled.<br>"It's MASH. Who cares. It's all fake anyway, you know?" Jean piped up. Rogue nodded, suprising me. The two were noramlly at odds.  
>"You wound up kissing Gambit that one time!" I countered, jabbing a finger at Rogue.<br>"It's MASH. _MASH_. MASH doesn't mean anythin'. Chill, Pryde. I didn't think ya had such a problem with him anyway." Rogue crossed her arms and cocked an eyebrow at me, as if I was insulting her.  
>"I don't! He's like... I just... You know I..." I floundered for some sort of excuse. "Rogue, I hate facial hair."<br>"Come on, Kitty. You guys are good friends... Me and Scott were good friends! Now we're better than that." I could almost _hear_Rogue roll her eyes and noticed her tongue stick out slightly. "Just keep writing, Rogue. I want my turn." Jean smiled; this was the most childish I'd ever seen her.

Rogue jotted down Spyke, letting Jean write Lance... and Toad, for some reason. I don't really know who I was hoping for, but I didn't like Lance at all anymore, hated Toad, and didn't see myself with Spyke. I guess I crossed my fingers for _at least_ an X-man.  
>Rogue scribbled in the house options, settling for the typical 'Mansion, Apartment, House, Shack', and moved on to jobs. Jean held a finger up, about to say something.<br>"Ohh, Rogue, don't forget X-man!" Rogue nodded, and I read the options to myself.  
>'X-man, Scholar, Author, Prostitute...Prostitute!" I realized I'd started thinking and had slowly started mumbling until I had started to yell. Rogue and Jean laughed at me.<br>"All in good sport, Kitty. Just a game!" They said. I crossed my arms anyway. After being fair with mine and my husbands salary choices, I looked over my pet options and husband jobs.

"Why the heck would I have a dragon. Does that even make sense?"  
>"Well, ya do have Lockheed. Why not a pet dragon?" Rogue murmured, still focused on the paper. I hugged my stuffed dragon to my chest. Kurt had given him to me on my first day and I'd gotten attached to the thing pretty quick after I got over the shock of the boy having...<em>fur<em>.  
>"Very original on the jobs, by the way. X-man or mortal enemy. Like, lovely." They'd only given him two options... I practically prayed that I would up with X-man. Soon, they made me call the tally. Rogue had put down five, and slowly marked out my potential life choices. Eventually, she had finished, and Jean picked up the paper to read how my life would turn out. I hadn't gotten to see the paper as they drew on it, making me a little anxious.<br>"Well, Kitty. I have some good news." Rogue took a glance and started rolling. Jean put on the biggest smile and began to list off how I'd done.  
>"You'll become an X-man, working for $2000 a month...That'll actually probably be all going to repairing any damage you cause, but whatever. You're living in a mansion...I figure maybe that just means you're hanging out in the Institute... You'll have a pet dragon, he's purple. House is white, so yeah, the Institute." Jean handed the paper to Rogue for her to finish.<br>"You'll be drivin' a sports car of some sort in red, and yer husband is an X-man gettin' $1500 a month. Once again, probably ta pay fer damages. Yer dyin' at the ripe ol' age of 85, an' honeymoonin' in Canada. Maybe Logan'll take ya to see his relatives." I blinked.  
>"You guys didn't write Logan down under husband. That's gross anyway." I stuck my tongue out and clutched Lockheed to my chest tighter.<br>"No, but we did write Kurt down. I heard he likes cold weather, so that's a good thing." My heart jumped a bit. I didn't realize that he'd been the one I'd hoped would get picked, but that news made me let out a breath I wasn't aware had been held. I clutched Lockheed a bit tighter, feeling a betraying smile crawl across my mouth. Trying not to get caught, I excused myself to the bathroom, just phasing through the door.  
>I'd phased through Kurt as well, and he shook his head, stunned. When he looked up, I could see the remnants of a blush lingering on his cheeks, a faint purple on his dark blue fur.<br>'Was he...did he hear all that?'  
>"Oh, hi, Keety! Don't mind me, just...Passing through! Going to um... Get some milk? Ja! Milk! See jou later!" He waved quickly and rushed down the hallway, nearly running into Scott's door when it opened. I laughed a little, and used the bathroom, hurrying back to my room.<p>

Later, when Rogue and Jean had passed out on the lumps of blanket they'd made beds into on my floor, I ran and got the MASH paper out of the trash... Life seemed a bit too perfect from that read. I held it under the small reading lamp I had by my bed and looked at it. I hadn't gotten Kurt, I'd gotten Lance. Most of the other stuff was the same, except I'd gotten mortal enemy as my husband's job and I was a prostitute, dying at 27. As mad as it should've made me, I just smiled, and tucked the paper into my pajama pocket. They'd lied to me to make me happy, and I actually was. I got up from my bed, phasing through my wall with Lockheed in hand. Kurt's room seemed a lot less lively when He wasn't hanging from the ceiling. He was, however, incredibly involved in a faint broadcast of 'The Crimson Pirate' on his radio. I had to laugh; only Kurt would stay up until two in the morning to listen to a pirate story _on the radio_. He looked up, shaking sleep from his head, blue hair hitting his face.  
>"You look like a dog when you do that." I smiled, walking closer to his bed.<br>"Keety? Vhat are jou doing in my bedroom at zis hour?" Kurt rubbed an eye.  
>"Were you... Um, were you listening earlier? When we were playing MASH?"<br>"Is zat vhat eet's called? Ja, um... I'm sorry. I vas curious."  
>"So you heard, then? Who I got for my husband?"<br>"...Uh, ja." I rubbed the back of my neck nervously, squeezing Lockheed. I sat on the edge of his bed, and patted the space next to me. Kurt took the invitation and looked at the floor.  
>"Don't worry, Kurt. I'm not mad, I just... You were my favorite from the options. Just so you know." I could've been hallucinating, but I swear his <em>ears<em> perked up.  
>"Vhat vere zee options?" I looked up at him, lospided.<br>"I...Jou don't have to tell me-"  
>"No, it's fine." I was glad Lockheed kept my hands busy doing something; I was getting anxious. "It was you, Spyke, Toad and Lance." I felt Kurt tense a little at Lance's name.<p>

"...Oh, um, okay, zen. Zhank...Zhank jou?" I couldn't help but smile.  
>"You don't have to thank me, you fuzzy goof. I just wanted you to, like, know. It's um, just MASH. Not like it really predicts life." I saw Kurt's mouth begin to turn down. I suddenly felt bad. I pulled out my MASH sheet from my pocket, pointing at it.<br>"In fact, it predicts life so horribly, look what I got." I pointed at my results, and a smile returned to Kurt's face. He put his hand on mine as he leaned in to look, getting embarassed and quickly lifting it off. I grabbed it and lay our hands next to my leg. His face returned to normal from the shocked expression it had taken, and he opened his mouth.  
>"Kurt, if you tell me that I would eventually come around to 'zee fuzzy dude', I will personally phase your image inducer into Lockheed so you have to wear him to school." He smiled, taking his hand out of mine to pull me into resting on his shoulder.<br>"Zee chicks also dig a sensitive man, in touch vith his _inner child_." Kurt grabbed Lockheed, startling me, and teleported to the ceiling.  
>"Besides," He smirked, shaking Lockheed as if he were dancing. "Since ve're going to have a pet dragon, I might as vell get used to him now."<p>

* * *

><p>All I can write for these two is mush. I dislike it. I need to make some sort of angst crap happen here...<br>This was a one-shot, because I wanted some teenager crap to blow off all the adult stuff I'm trying to work up in OUaLL. And I still love these two like the dickens, so I picked them. ^^  
>It wouldn't kill you to review...~<p> 


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